I am more and more convinced everyday our wonderful God has an incredible sense of humor. Does he love us? Yes. Does he watch over us and protect us? Absolutely. Does he sometimes like a good laugh? Of course. Was he laughing at me today? Without a doubt.
I was having a great day. I left work to go to lunch and stopped quickly by Joey's school to watch him in his little Easter program. Afterward, I decided to run by the house to grab something I needed for work. Quickly, I ran into the bathroom to ...um...well, not important. Anyway, I had just sat down when I suddenly heard a rustling. A few seconds later, I heard it again. My first thought was someone has broken into the house. I jumped up and peeked around the corner into my bedroom. I heard the sound again. Do you know the sound the plastic you use to wrap up Easter baskets with sounds? Well, I was just thinking to myself the sound sounded exactly like that when I happened to glance at Joey's basket I had hidden on the top shelf in my closet. That is when I saw it. It was trying to get into the basket. A snake. Enough said.
My family and friends know I have a fear of snakes. No...scratch that. My family and friends know I have a irrational terror of those slithery little creatures. Poisonous or non-venomous...It doesn't matter. Not to mention the fact this CREATURE was IN MY HOUSE!!!!!
Luckily, I had my phone in my pocket because I just ran. Once I got outside, I called my husband. He would fix it. I was sure of it. Shaking, I yelled. "you have to come home now!!" (He barely had the chance to get hello out.) Aaron told me afterward he was sure one of the children were seriously injured because of the screaming. Did you know you can shake uncontrollably, cry, scream, and have an asthma attack at the same time? I do now. Picture the scene....Crazy, out of control woman standing in the front yard screaming into the phone while my infuriatingly calm husband answers back. The conversation went something like this:
"You have to come home now!"
"Why? What's wrong?"
"There is a SNAKE in our HOUSE!"
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, I am sure! It was trying to get into Joey's Easter basket!"
"Are you sure it was a snake?"
"YES, I'M SURE IT IS A SNAKE!"
"How do you know?"
"Because I SAW it and I have seen a SNAKE before and I know what a SNAKE LOOKS LIKE!!!! GET HOME NOW!!!"
"I can't come home right now. I am in the middle of a meeting."
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU CAN'T COME HOME?!! THERE IS A SNAKE IN OUR CLOSET!!!"
"Calm down. Go and close the door and stuff a towel under the door and I will catch him as soon as I get home."
"WHAT?!!!!"
"Go and close the door and"
"WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!!! THERE IS A SNAKE IN MY HOUSE AND I AM NOT GOING TO JUST LEAVE IT THERE!!"
"It will be fine."
"YOU ARE CRAZY!!"
"Well, call animal conrol."
"FINE!! I WILL!"
After getting the number twice from information, I dialed animal control only to get an automated system. Press one if you want to report a animal attack, press two if you would like directions to the office, press three if you would like hours of operation....... If you would like to talk to a real person, stay on the line. I stayed on the line for a few minutes and then decided, even though the snake had not attacked me yet, he probably could and I pressed one. No lie- I got a recorded message saying the mailbox was full. Thank you Clayton County for continually amazing me. I called back only to be told animal control does not deal with snakes. I'm sorry...WHAT?!!!
Thank goodness for modern technology. I can't imagine making all these calls from inside the house.
I texted my friend Chris who works for the humane society. The text was simple. I have a snake in my house. He immediately called me back, calmed me down, and helped me get someone out who was equipped to handle a problem like this. He even came out as soon as he could to lend moral support. Thank you, Chris!
The guy who came to capture the snake actually asked me if I was coming in to help him look. Umm, No. I think I will just wait in the front yard. It took him about 15 minutes to locate the snake and bring him out. He carried no equipment with him. He came out bare handed holding the snake. What makes people choose this as a career? Did I mention the snake was 4 feet long? Did I mention the "snake whisperer" explained to me the snake could have been in the house for weeks? He was nice enough to tell me there were "probably" no more in the house. He did tell me how he thought he got in. Aaron stayed home today to fix everything and clean up the mess the "snake whisperer" made when he was looking for our uninvited visitor.
Go ahead...laugh if you must.
You are hilarious! Of course, if the situation were reversed, I'd probably act similarly. :) I'm glad to hear he's out of your house now and that there are "probably" not any more.
ReplyDelete