A Study of the Effects of Prolonged Hospitalization of Offspring on the Mental Health of Parents.

Days 1-5

• Everyone is so nice and helpful.
• Netflix is a delightful boredom buster.
• All of the elevators have cute names, such as Flower or Butterfly Elevators.
• Tyler enjoys TeenNick.  How delightfully age appropriate of him!
• They have a delightful food service system allowing you to personalize your child's menu and order it when your child is ready to eat.
•  The hospital library stocks a variety of movie to check out.
• My crossword puzzle book proves I am still smart.
• My husband was really smart to bring some extra charger cords for our devices.
• These rooms are painted such a calming color.

Days 5-10

• This hospital must have great benefits and pay their employees well, because everyone is so nice and helpful.
• Wow!  I have time to watch some of the original Netflix shows I’ve heard about.  I really enjoyed the comedy series I just finished.  Everyone is talking about Orange is the New Black.  Perhaps I should give that a try.
• I just have to remember to take the flower elevators down one floor and walk two halls to take the parking elevators to the Mint P2 deck to find the car.  Shouldn’t be a problem.
•  Teen Nick again?  Okay………
•  It is getting close to lunch so I better decide what Tyler will eat and call the Food service number to get his food before it is too late.  Then, I should call the nurse for pain meds so they will work so he can eat with his mouth all sutured.
• We are checking out the Spongebob movie again?  Don’t you want to try something else? No? 
•  I thought I’d be finished with more of the crossword book by now.  Three is still smart, right?
• It sure was lucky Aaron brought the extra phone charger since mine broke!  I wonder what this other cord goes to?
•  I wonder why the clock doesn’t match the colors of the room.  It also might be slightly tilted.  Hmmm….

Days 10-15

•  Everyone is so nice and helpful it makes it even more noticeable when I snap at them.  For the tenth time in the last 15 minutes, “No! I do not need anything right now!”
• Thanks to Netflix’s original programming I know how to make a shiv.  Also- I have begun to ask what she expects me to trade it for when she brings my son his drugs. 
•  If Butterflies like flowers, why is this elevator system so difficult?  Mint is green.  Just say green.
• Do any of these kids on Teen Nick have actual parents?
• It is 3 pm and I have forgotten to order him lunch. Just bring him anything on a tray.  Anything!  Why am I planning his meals?  Were there budget cuts?
• Die Spongebob.
• Oh my goodness, a crossword book!  I wonder who left this here!
• Are these cords breeding?  Why are they everywhere?
•  “Nurse, Something happened to your clock.  I think it fell.”