The Unknown

October is National Down Syndrome Awareness month.

When I was in high school, I worked at a fast food chain.  One day, I was working behind the counter when a little girl came in with her mom and her grandmother.  She was about two years old and had curly blond hair.  She was being carried by her mother and was taking turns kissing her mom and her grandmother while they were waiting in line.  After each kiss, she would smile the biggest smile and giggle.  The room was brighter with her in it.  I remember noticing the little girl had down syndrome.  As I watched them interact, I smiled and thought to myself, "God, if you ever decide to give me a special needs child, please make it one with Down Syndrome." 

One of my friends from high school has an older brother with special needs.  He was severely developmentally delayed. I would watch my friends face light up whenever she would talk to him.  He would watch her as she walked around the room and grin.  Her parents, who were like second parents to me considering the amount of time I stayed at her house, were always cracking jokes and laughing.  I am sure they had their moments where things were not so upbeat, but you could never tell it.

I believe God puts people in our lives to help us face future challenges.  Thirteen Years ago, I was expecting my first child.  I remember very clearly sitting in the Doctors office and staring blankly at him as he said the words that would forever change my life,

                              "Karyn, your baby is going to be born with Down Syndrome."

I remember sitting there in shock as the tears started to flow.  This is not how this is suppose to be. I am young.  I am healthy. No developmental or genetic disabilities run in my family. How could this happen? Then, in the back of my mind, I thought of that blond haired little girl.  Of course, I prayed for this.

During the pregnancy, I was faced with the unknown.  I was concerned about his health.  So many children with down syndrome are born with heart defects and other health problems.  I was concerned about my ability to care for a special needs child. What if I made the wrong decisions?  I didn't know what the future would hold for him.  How would I teach him?  How would others react to him?

Thirteen years later, the unknown is still there.  My attitude about it has changed dramatically.  By watching my friends parents when I was a teenager, I learned my life didn't have to be constantly full of worry.  I learned it was okay to laugh about situations I faced with him.  While I will constantly be concerned about his health and his future, I have learned to take things day by day.  I was never concerned about having more children because of the love and adoration I saw on the faces of my friend and her brother.  As for others, I hardly notice the stares.  Most of the time, people will come up and ask me about him.  I am all too happy to brag on him!

Looking back on my pregnancy, there was other unknown I could never had predicted.  I could never have predicted then the amount of love and joy he would bring into my life and the lives of everyone who meets him.  I could never have predicted what a practical joker he is.  I could never have predicted how great songs sound so much better with him singing them.   I could never have predicted how contagious his laugh is. There is one thing I know-

                                            Tyler, my world is brighter with you in it.